Where Worlds Collide

When viewing my new home before moving in, I measured the size of the living room to see if my Ngauge model railway layout, which is 12′ long, would fit. Taking a tape measure I found the room to be just under 13′ long

Now I’ve moved in, it’s time to put the layout up. It’s at this point I made an alarming discovery; none of the corners of the room are square! The side I had measured proved to be the long side of the room.

I put up the first two boards, and realised to my horror that there was less than four feet left to the far corner. Taking out the tape measure showed I had just 45 inches in which to fit a four-foot board. Basic arithmetic told me that this will not fit!

Fortunately by repositioning the one of the legs to avoid the corner of the protruding window sill, I could gain another two inches. Still not quite enough. I wondered if it would be possible to hack a couple of inches off the board to make things fit.

Then I remembered. The boards are actually 1200mm in length, not four feet. This is actually 47 inches. The layout just fits, with not a quarter of an inch to spare.

Cthulho-conservative Andrew Ian Dodge predicts Tony Blair as the next leader of a Tories! Well, a coalition government comprised mostly of Tories, after Blair splits with most of his own party over war in Iraq.

Let me counter this right-wing fantasy with a left-wing one - in which Blair’s ‘new tories’ replaced by a radical centre-left coalition lead by Charles Kennedy.

Not that either scenario is likely. If the war against Iraq either goes well, or doesn’t happen at all, Iraq will no longer be a political faultline. If the war goes badly (heavy casualties, and major terrorist attacks in London), Blair is toast whatever party he leads.

We’ve all heard the classic “Leaves on the line” and “Operating difficulties. The uk.railway FAQ now has the A to Z of excuses why your train might be late. Such excuses as “Exploding pidgeon”, “A remarkable lack of investment in the infrastructure of the railway system by government”, and scarily, “This train is delayed as the guard has been taken away by the police” (He was arrested in connection with an excess fares fraud)

No sign of Reginald Perrin’s “Escaped puma at Norwood Junction”, though

BBC NEWS | World | Asia-Pacific | ‘Several dead’ in Sydney rail crash
From the photograph it looks like a 4 car EMU has derailed, with two coaches on their sides and one car (the leading one?) badly damaged, possibly from colliding with the overhead catenery masts.

I hope the death toll is closer to the lower estimate rather than the higher, but this looks like a bad one.

From the London Evening Standard comes a story of a nasty ‘bodge job’ on the London Underground

“The repair to the northbound Victoria Line at Victoria has been carried out by bolting a length of hardwood into a section of conductor rail - which is already welded in several places. The upper surface of the wood is not flush with the top of the rail, which has been either crudely ground down in an attempt to achieve a match, or has simply been worn down by train wheels”

Train wheels? Conductor rails? Not a very good example of journalism, and a little on the hysterical side.

Not very good maintenance, but not very good journalism either. But they are taking quotes from experts on the matter.

“Islington housewife Mary O’Neil said: “It is like sticking a plaster on something and hoping it will be all right. I seriously wonder if I should be getting on this train.”

Update: A correspondant tells me this is acutually quite common practice to protect pickup shoes from damage where there’s a break in the third rail, pending a proper fix. Not sure if it’s right to leave something like that for four weeks, though.

According to the BBC, the Central Line is to remain closed for at least two weeks for safety checks on the trains after last week’s derailment.

Despite much media hysteria, nobody was actually killed or even seriously hurt when a motor fell off a coach causing the rear part of the train to scrape along the sides of the tunnel.

Why is it going to take two whole weeks to check the trains are ‘safe’? I’m assuming the dreaded Health and Safety Executive is behind this nonsense, although it might be London Underground protecting themselves from lawsuits. All I can say is the nobody has factored in the number of additional road deaths caused by one of London’s major transport arteries being out of action for so long.

Michele wants to know your favourite cover versions!.

I nominated the late great Frank Zappa’s take on “Stairway to Heaven”, with a reggae beat and a brass section playing the guitar solo note-for-note. Alternatively, for pure silliness, there’s Alberto Y Lost Trios Paranoias barbershop quartet version of “Anarchy in the UK”.

Meanwhile, I have music again, having finally got round to unpacking the stereo! First album is Threshold’s “Critical Mass”, which I really must get round to reviewing for BlogCritics

Now I know what happens to a Moveable Type blog when I have a whole week without net access!

In the past week I’ve started a new job, and moved into a new home (one week from the day after first telephoning the estate agent!). I spent a week in hotels, and then it was a couple of days after moving in before I got the phone connected.

I’m now living in metropolis of Cheadle Hulme, just south of Stockport and five minute’s walk from the local railway station, which is just ten minutes ride away from where I work.

Fellow bloggers Andrew Ian Dodge and Sasha Castel have been having a bit of bother with the UK immigration authorities. I don’t know the full story, but the idea that someone might be refused entry to Great Britain because of things written in a blog is surreal. Perhaps some small-minded bureaucrat really thinks they plan to summon Cthulhu?

Remember Andrew and Sasha in your prayers.

Entries have been light lately, and will continue to be so for at least another week; not only am I starting a new job and having to relocate, but I’m struggling with an extremely flaky internet connection.